Well we made it through Christmas. We did lose power Monday afternoon but we were lucky that it came back on Tuesday night (Christmas Eve).
Definitely made for a memorable first Christmas for us with Kieran. l do have to admit it was fun curling up together Monday night with dollar store battery powered candles flickering and all the blankets we could find on the bed. What a special breakfast in bed we had Tuesday morning of left over rolls with jam and peanut butter (picture above).
it was sort of nice to have a day to really have nothing to do-no tv or internet-just a quiet old fashioned afternoon.
I have to say this was my favourite Christmas memory of 2013. It was sort of nice to have a day to really have nothing to do-no tv or internet-just a quiet old fashioned afternoon. Kieran won't remember it, but he will probably be told every year (each year more exaggerated than the last) about how his first Christmas was filled of power outages and ice and snow.
This weeks Lifebook journal page is about connections. I used a quote by DJ Williams on the page.
I really want connections in my life that are authentic. I am a bit of a chameleon; I tend to blend in, fade into the back ground, or change in order to fit in. This comes from an irrational fear of wanting to not stand out or be judged, and wanting to be liked. These feelings and behaviour are something I have been working on for a while, but they are not something that goes away easily.
I have to remind myself it is none of my business what others think of me- I just need to be me. A hard lesson for me to learn is that I can't please everyone and being a people pleaser is very stressful.
After years of being different people to everyone it is going to take some time to relax into myself. I just hope that the more I put myself out there and be true to myself and who I am becoming that others will feel the same and begin to uncover themselves as well.
Kieran may hate the car, but he loves his baths. If he is upset, he calms down as soon as he hits the water.
Bath time is usually Daddy's special time, but I have snuck in a bath with him a couple times. It is fun getting in the tub with him, gives some more room to make waves. One of the times it really helped with breast feeding. He had been refusing one side, the bath allowed him to relax and get comfortable on that side- yay for bath times.
When I started commiting to my art practice two years ago I had not found the multitude of in depth online art courses and was experimenting with my materials. I really loved the results and art that emerged. Then I wanted to expand and learn new and better my techniques, so I began taking classes on faces, abstract, art journaling, and working on canvas. I love the classes, but still feel something was missing. I haven't been experimenting on my own anymore.
I really want to find my unique style and have confidence in my art. I have come to realize that I spend too much time looking externally for inspiration. The classes I took were definitely helpful and gave me tools to use. With each piece I made I added my own flair and I love them, but they don't feel 100% me. I can spend hours procrastinating on Pinterest looking for " inspiration" and then do nothing with it.
Looking within is an issue I have with decision making too. I tend to over think things and ask everyone's opinion before making a decision for myself. When really if I sit down and really ask myself what I want I know the answer- but sometimes the answer scares me. When the answer scares me I can easily make excuses to avoid it, which equals a lot of mused opportunities.
It is my goal in 2014 to start creating and making decisions from within- instead of looking for how to do something, or worrying that it isn't good enough or what others will think and giving up.
There is a class I really want to be apart of that works with you to empower yourself and others through art using the sacred feminine. The course sounds magnificent and us called the Color of Woman. It is very intensive and is an investment. I accidentally stumbled across it last week and as I read about the program and the artist (Shiloh Sophia McCloud) my whole body was saying this is for me, this is what I have always wanted to do with my art. Then I saw the price and the questions came in- is this for me I would ask myself and the first couple times some coincidences happened, then the only response in would get is "you already know the answer". The answer is yes do it, but the other side of me has the what ifs-what if you don't have time? What if you don't follow through? What if an emergency happens?.... What if you don't do this and you regret it? So I took action and applied for the program- got accepted- next round interview with the artist- got accepted...I want this to happen- it is everything this blog is suppose to be about- taking the leap and building my wings on the way down. I haven't slept well since Decembet 4th because it is all I could think about-all the possibilities, all the what ifs, all the excuses, debates going on in my head. I have until Friday to claim my seat I will let you know what I ended up deciding.
This weeks journal page is a celebration of gratitude. The writing on the background are the reasons I am grateful and on the rolled up paper are short letters to the people and things I am grateful for. Here are some of the things I chose: my husband- Peter-for being my best friend and believing in me; my son- Kieran-for showing me how deeply one can love another and bring such joy; for having the opportunity to learn Reiki, which opened a whole new perspective for me; for art giving me a safe place to express myself.
I might not feel like this everyday, but Thank you to everyone and every thing and circumstance that has happened in my life- because with out them I wouldn't be who I am today. Accepting the good with the bad just makes life easier- although I forget this often.
What are you grateful for?
It always makes me feel good when Kieran and I understand each others body language. Today it was "hmmmm you are tired lets get you to sleep" and ten minutes later... ta da sleeping baby. It isn't always so easy-sometimes he isn't tired when I think and it takes an hour, or I let him get too tired and he cries- but today was just right! I will take a mini success when I can. Pat on the back for me....hopefully he will nap for an hour at least... It has only been ten minutes- hope I didn't speak too soon :)
Hope your day is filled with mini successes
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Jennifer Russell was born and raised in New Brunswick, Canada.She is an Intentional artist who focuses on creating meaning full connections to her work for herself and others. Nothing is more satisfying to her than hearing that her work has inspired someone in their own life.