Last night I attempted to add the outline if the face to my background (for awakening the Legendary Woman the first painting required for Color of Woman training). It didn't go so well. I would put a line, run it off almost done, nope don't like it...rub it off. I left my canvas feeling sad, frustrated and confused.
I have drawn and painted faces before and never worries about the initial outline so much. I was confused as to why this one was making me feel differently. This is the biggest face I have done (on a 3x4 foot canvas), and while this process is intuitive and intentional I feel I am already visualizing how it 'should' look. Making this expectation of how it 'should' look has released the inner critic. That voice that tells me things aren't good enough and creates the fear of doing something 'wrong'.
This morning I set the goal that I would do the face today, and let go of the inner critic. I put the brush to the canvas and let go. Of course there were lines I didn't like, but instead of criticizing myself I just used it as an opportunity to explore what type of line I liked and what different shapes would do. Exploring the canvas and keeping my mnd open made it much easier.
Explore is my word for this year. To me it makes everything an adventure or journey. To look at life with wonder. I am sure there will be times I forget this and life won't seem like an adventure, but I hope that being aware of how I approach life ( and the canvas) will be more and more an exploration, and the inner critic will arise less and less.
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Jennifer Russell was born and raised in New Brunswick, Canada.She is an Intentional artist who focuses on creating meaning full connections to her work for herself and others. Nothing is more satisfying to her than hearing that her work has inspired someone in their own life.